War Journal

( Barnes and Cap )

( Barnes )

( Wanda )

( Abi )

( Johnny )

It was late by the time Frank made it back to his house. He was covered in dirt and grime, though any blood had been washed off. The was a small but relatively deep cut on his right shoulder that had been bandaged with a handful of butterfly closures, but his jacket hid the damage as well as the shirt itself. Once inside the house, the first thing he did was strip off the shirt and shove it into the washing machine. Next he went through the living room and packed what little stuff Felicia had into her bag and tossed it out on the front porch to find whenever she decided to make it back in. Her three days had been up for a while now and he was not in the mood for company. Once that was done, he locked the door behind him and grabbed the bottle of whiskey from his liquor cabinet.

Four years. Four years and he'd replaced everything in his life -- everything that had ever mattered -- with the mission. Find them, stop them, kill them. It was all that had mattered in the past four years until this, and then suddenly that had been taken away too. But not tonight. "Happy anniversary," he muttered into the bottle before taking a long drink and sinking back onto the couch.

( Barnes )

( Abi & Deputies )

( Felicia )

( Fury )

I'm taking off Wednesday. The office can handle any problems you have. Don't blow up the town.

( Evil Suzi! )

( Barnes )

FYI for the speedsters or anyone else that might not be paying attention. I'm going out to the firing range. Don't run through it, it will be live.

Frank had retrieved one of the bottles of vodka from his freezer the night before and shown up at Barnes' door to demand a date. The good thing about Barnes? He never asked why, he just took the vodka and they settled into beating the crap out of each other. Whatever it was that was happening to people was obviously affecting Barnes too. Frank still had to watch out for the arm, but when he slipped it didn't hurt nearly as much as usual. He ended up bruised and sweating and calmer, but minus the nearly broken ribs that he usually took home after one of their dates.

Afterwards, Frank helped put a dent in the bottle before heading home and showering. Even then he didn't sleep, though. Finally he just gave up and headed into town, making his rounds again before going into the office.

Frank had stayed with Wanda biggest part of the afternoon, actually growling at Clint when he did show up to demand his own time. It'd taken a little bit of convincing, but then what had originally been warm and comfortable ended up a little too warm, so he'd rolled out of bed and made it to his own room. His face itched because he was too lazy to shave, though he did stumble into the shower. After drying off, he pulled on a pair of Doom pajama bottoms that he didn't remember getting and dropped face first onto the bed.

Be careful for the pie. It makes you sneeze.

At least, it's making me sneeze.

( Wanda )

He was restless, moving through the house from one room to the next for no real reason. It wasn't too late, but he was already sure that sleep wasn't going to be in the cards for the night. Several hours later, Frank was hot and sweaty from the gym and still felt as if something was crawling just under his skin. Frustrated, he prowled the house again before finding himself in the bathroom and starting the shower. The water heated up quickly and Frank stepped under the spray to lean against the wall. He concentrated on his breathing, trying to get his thoughts under some sort of control, but it was no use. Whenever he got close to control, his body would twitch with a memory of Johnny.

Frank finally just gave up and turned his face up to the spray. Water ran down his wide shoulders as he took himself in hand and just rubbed his thumb over the tip. He could easily see the look of concentration on Johnny's face in his mind when he'd done the same thing, working Frank until he was almost hurting. He couldn't copy those movements, couldn't even pretend to. Instead he remembered the sounds that Johnny made when Frank was sucking him, or fucking him. The tightness and feel of it. The heat. He groaned and his hand sped up, working harder and faster until he was shuddering his release.

For a long moment he just leaned against the wall before washing off and turning the water off. He still wouldn't sleep, but he was at least able to relax onto the couch with a beer and pretend that things were something resembling normal.

( Barnes )

I'll be taking off from the office early this afternoon, so if anyone needs anything you can reach me through the usual ways.

( Barnes )

( Johnny )

I wish Mojo would keep some sort of schedule when it comes to bringing in new people. I'd welcome everyone, but I'm not sure anyone actually wants to be here. For those who don't know, I'm Frank Castle. I'm the sheriff. If you need help, you can reach me or any of my deputies through the office or the journals at pretty much any time. And before anyone asks - yes, Doom is for real. Yes, he appears to be trustworthy. No, I'm not on drugs.

( Cut for a nightmare with potentially disturbing imagery... )

---

Soundtrack

( Private )

( Deputies & Abi )

( Johnny )

There was a spare room in the back of his house that Frank had set up as a gym of sorts. He'd set it up with several sets of weights, and inclined bench, and a pull-up bar. Even here, he worked out religiously to keep himself in top condition. Sunday mornings usually found him in his sweatpants and in the spare room, pushing himself until he was completely exhausted. This morning his side was wrapped to keep the bruising from getting any worse. His legs were curled under him as he pulled himself up on the bar, having long since lost count and was now just working towards forgetfulness. It'd been like this at home between hits, while he was waiting for the perfect time or for the right information or the best opportunity. Waiting for the next step. If only he knew where the next step was. Wincing, he dropped to the floor and moved on, stretching out on the weight bench.

He hated this place. Hated it, hated being out of step, hated being without a purpose. He hated even more that he didn't want to leave it. It kept building up until he had to find a way to work it off, to drain some of it away. Johnny had understood that. Barnes understood that. But it was a constant need, something he had to fight every day, and he thought it might be killing him.

( Abi, Cloak, MVP, and Theo )

If there's any emergencies, the sheriff's office can reach me. Otherwise, consider me disappeared for the day.

He felt numb. He could feel it crawling through him and, for the first time in a long time, he didn't know what to do. It faded sometimes -- when he was with Abi or Johnny. Those were the times that left him the most frustrated. Being there and then leaving and finding himself on the outside again only served to confuse him more. He wanted to fight the numbness, to get closer. Then remembered what it was like waking up from that dream and just wanted to sink into the dark and let everyone else fade away. He felt lost.

It had been better last night. What he and the Winter Soldier had done couldn't have even been described as training. It'd been a brawl, plain and simple. And even though Frank's lip was split and a little swollen and he was covered in bruises, he'd known what to do. Barnes would have his own set of bruises this morning. For that limited bit of time, he'd been in control of himself and his life again.

This morning, Frank had gotten up and tried to soak some of the soreness out of his body in the shower. It had helped, so he dressed and went into his kitchen for breakfast and to check the journals. He didn't know how many people realized that the journals were the easiest way for him to keep an eye on everyone. The journal clattered to the table when he saw the new kid there. Johnny's kid. He didn't even really think about picking up the knife and throwing it, not until it was already buried in the wall of his kitchen. Clenching his hands into fists, he exhaled slowly. Then picked up his journal again.

It's been a month and a half. Nobody take this the wrong way and decide that I need to be hunted down and stopped, but if I don't hit someone soon, I'm going... to hit someone very soon.

( Theo )

There is a rabbit humping my foot. Right now.

Anyone want rabbit fricassee?